I’ve been known to disappear from the social scene/face of the Earth every three to four months. I don’t go to any scheduled shows, romantic sushi dinners with my fiancee or any scheduled card games with my girls. Just when my friends and family are about to send out a search party to uncover my remains, I post something on my FaceBook Page about the latest episode of Dexter, or Law and Order, or Sex and the City that I have been streaming non-stop through my Netflix.
Eventually, I get to the point where the season is over or I have to stop streaming and send out of the DVD. Then my friends and I rejoin in activities and go out dancing to the beat of lots of vodka and gansta rap.
My latest streak has been the King (or Queen) of Cliffhangers: Desperate Housewives. I never jumped on the original bandwagon back in 2004 partially because I was 21 and the last thing I wanted to do was watch a show about a bunch of women with children who do yard work.
But as I continue to watch the five women of Wisteria Lane continue on with their mysterious lives, I wonder which housewife I will be. So just like any gal who’s favorite magazine was Seventeen in my tween years, I made a quiz.
Which Desperate Housewife are You?
1.) It’s Saturday! What are you doing today?
a. Taking Junior to his soccer game, Sally being dropped off at the mall and shopping for a new tank top because little Tommy just puked on me at Junior’s soccer game.
b. Cleaning the house top to bottom and then ironing the sheets.
c. Going shopping with my daughter. We need a girls trip to discuss my recent break up.
d. Shopping for Gucci and picking up my new BMW on my hubby’s tab!
e. Meeting the new neighbor. Want to show him my new panties!
2.) What sort of man are you attracted to?
a. Someone I can be on a team with. I’m a ying looking for my yang.
c. I like a good bad boy. Ex cons, thieves..my ex husband.
d. I don’t like men. I like boys.
e. All men.
3.) Who is your nemesis?
a. The old lady across the street who accuses my kids of stealing her crap. Why on Earth would my five year old want you stupid flamingo lawn ornament?
b. Germs and wrinkled shirts.
c. Anyone who sleeps with my ex-husband.
d. My mother in law.
If you answered mostly e’s you are Eddie and kind of a mean slut.
If you answered mostly d’s you are Gabrielle
If you answered mostly a’s, you are Lynette!
If you answered mostly b’s you are Bree
If you answered mostly c’syou are Susan.