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Lesson #1: The importance ofj aging gracefully.

It’s a known fact that every housewife (whether is NJ or the OC) is tormented by the idea that one day they will be 50 and their husbands will grow fat and/or bald (unless their husband is Slade Smiley) while they (including Slade) continue to do everything they can to preserve their good looks with silicone.

This week as we watched the Queens of Jersey strut their stuff and later hash it out at the annual Posche Fashion Show at The Brownstone, we learned that aging gracefully not only includes your physical appearance, but also the way you behave. We were reminded of this when we welcomed back the two Kim’s America loves to hate: Kim D. and Kim G.

While Caroline Manzo has accepted her role as “mother hen” in the group, we have learned that she has also embraced it. I’m sure she had some insecurities during the first season which probably resulted in her extreme weight loss come season two, but she dresses conservatively and refused to let anything enter her body unless it’s good Italian cuisine.

Kim DePaola and Kim Granatell, on the other hand, continue to indulge in the behavior of the middle school instigators who were always trying to get the two most popular girls in a fight (insert Teresa and Danielle circa season 2). Beyond the immature behavior Kim G. is now dressing like a woman 20 years her junior. I’m not sure what sort of ageless mirror Kim G is peering into, or who told her that sequined dresses were back (if ever) in style, but someone has got to put an end to her madness.

Picture via E!

Lesson #2: When Joe Gorga gives you “the look”  you should “just know”.

It seems like Teresa just can help but be the center of all the drama. From her battle

with Danielle Staub during seasons one and two to this season’s family feud between her and her brother, Joe Gorga. There is a table being flipped, pounded or thrown at some point.

This season, Teresa is apparently the center of attack from her brother and sister in-law’s wrath for her not paying enough attention to them. The televised start of the controversy was at Teresa’s nephew’s Christening where Joe and wife, Melissa Gorga felt Teresa was coming off fake. Comments and tempers became heated after Teresa (who is known to never be on time) was late to the event and minus one husband and two children. Water eventually boiled over when Teresa later approached her brother and Melissa to congratulate him again on the Christening when Joe then lost his grip and began yelling and screaming about Teresa’s apparent fakeness towards him and his family. A few days later, describing the incident to close friends and family, Joe made the very clear explanation by pounding on the table that the incident at the Christening was not his fault, after all, he did give Teresa “the look” which was confirmed by cousin Kathy. Apparently, Joe Gorga has gone back to his animalistic roots and has eyeballs that give off the scent: STAY AWAY.

Stay tuned for more life lessons provided by the Real Housewives of NJ. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s going to be a good season.

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