Every spring kicks off the longest sport known to man; America’s favorite past time, baseball.  Now I’m not one of those girly ladies who get aggravated when “the game is on.”  In fact, I’ve been known to ditch family gatherings, leave work early and even ignore phone calls from my mother because the Chicago Bears were on.  However, I can’t help but complain about a sport that takes up multiple channels for the majority of the year.  Seriously, nine innings can feel like a lifetime.

Although I’m not a huge fan of the Major League, I do know the game; I know the teams and yes, I am judging you depending on who you like.  Of the 27 teams (which should not be allowed), I can only provide a preview.  I mean, who’s got the time to go through all team profiles and then associate them with pop-culture?!

Chicago White Sox/Cubs
Either team you choose, you’re gonna piss of a parent, aunt or cousin.  Whether you decide to root for the Sox or the Cubbies, liking either team is sure to divide a family during the long season and frankly dear, you just don’t give-a-damn.

NY Yankees
I was in a parking lot once and passed a car with a Yankees, Jets and UM sticker decal on the back.  Obviously I was entering the same store as the ultimate asshole.  I know there’s a huge rivalry between the Yankees and…just about every other team.  But if it weren’t for the millions of Yankee jerks with their popped collars and their cold Coronas, I may have a different opinion of the team…and their fans.

Boston Red Sox
Unless you were born before 1946 or if you are from Boston, you are probably a bandwagon fan.

Tampa Bay Rays
Let me guess…you started liking the Rays after 2008…

Atlanta Braves

Toronto Blue Jays
Why on Earth is there a Canadian team in the MLB?  I understand that most consider Toronto as the Americanized Canadian city (aka a city we made better), but I don’t think this qualifies them to be involved in one of America’s most famous past times.

Detroit Tigers
I guess you can’t help but feel for any Detroit fan…suckers.

Twins, Angeles and Indians
These teams are really only known for the string of Baseball movies that first flooded our theaters in the 1980’s…and then again in the 1990’s.

And so you have it.  I’m sure I could be cruel and snappy towards more teams, but for a sport that I’m not even that interested in, I’ve spent too much time on the topic already.  Trish has said it and so it must be true.