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I believe it should be the first internet search you do when you move into a new area: SEX OFFENDERS.  While most of the perpetrators are a mix of Peeping Toms or college jocks who ran into an unfortunate public urination conviction, some of the perps can be rather scary.  There’s nothing scarier than a 300 pound, one-eyed rapist living right next door.

After moving into a new place almost a year ago, of course I did my normal search of the creep-o’s who I would be forced to share a neighborhood with.  I found the typical monsters with gold plated teeth, a couple of old men who exposed themselves in the park, and then a couple of blocks down I saw Victoria Hartman.  Her conviction?  Unlawful sexual activity with certain minors under 16/17 years.  Translation: Mrs. Robinson.

In 1967 Hollywood made a movie about a certain teenager who had recently graduated and got mixed up in an affair with the wife of his father’s business partner.  Granted, the graduate was 18 years of age, but after that, the world grabbed the stereotype by the horns and created thousands of generalizatiions including, MILF (Mom I’d Like To Fuc*), Stiffler’s mom and the list goes on.

Ask any male who the “hot mom” was in their adolescence and I guarantee they’ll have a story to tell about how their friend’s mom showed them a boob once, or how one time a friend of a friend made out with so-and-so’s recently divorced and vulnerable mom.  Even as a female, I’ve heard the rumors.

It appears that women have gotten their equal opportunity when it comes to sleeping with the under aged.  Although mothers and fathers don’t have to be overly paranoid about the Mary Kay Letourneu’s out there, I think it’s now safe to say:  “Mothers: lock up your sons!”

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