Remember that video where Sheryl Crow pretends to be a caged beast yelling “If it makes you happy…“? It’s hard to think she’s the same person as the Sheryl Crow I recently watched making stuffed peppers on the Today Show. I can’t seem to wrap my brain around the positive cookie cutter mom Crow has turned into over the last decade-and even if it has been a decade, it seems like just yesterday she was pissed off at the world and was gonna tell you about it over a whiskey and cigarette.
I know people change…grow up…get whipped…or knocked up, or whatever you want to call it. But I really thought Sheryl Crow was the exception. Actually, I think all of us “brassy” ladies at least hoped she was the exception. But just as you can tell from her recent appearances, Crow now has a natural “earthy” appearance, is raising a child by herself and has written a cookbook, just like every other pretend suburban celebrity.
So what was it that sparked Crow’s change? Was it her one-balled prince, Lancelot Armstrong? Or maybe her run in with the C’word (cancer)? Either way, we want all this 5K-running and self help book nonsense put to rest. You’ve let us all down, Sheryl and we want you back! We’ll forgive you if you decide to stop wearing too much lipstick and if you quit smoking, but if you don’t put those nasty boots back on and start bitching about abortions and over emotional men or we are going to EXPLODE!